Don’t worry about it, man… I bet she was a—wait for it—crazy bitch.

A brief list of responses this guy should have made:

• I know my way around bushes.
• Ever laid hardwood?
• That’s a nice hammer. Would you like a lesson on nailing?
• I just built a deck. Have any idea where I could find a good railing?
• Looks like you are into screwing.
• Carpet, drapes, etc.

If rubbing one out while going 85 on the freeway is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Thanks, mattgorman!