abriefhistoryoffunk:

Local romance

abriefhistoryoffunk:

Local romance

Don’t worry about it, man… I bet she was a—wait for it—crazy bitch.

Don’t worry about it, man… I bet she was a—wait for it—crazy bitch.

A brief list of responses this guy should have made:
I know my way around bushes.
Ever laid hardwood?
That’s a nice hammer. Would you like a lesson on nailing?
I just built a deck. Have any idea where I could find a good railing?
Looks like you are into screwing.
Carpet, drapes, etc.

A brief list of responses this guy should have made:

  • I know my way around bushes.
  • Ever laid hardwood?
  • That’s a nice hammer. Would you like a lesson on nailing?
  • I just built a deck. Have any idea where I could find a good railing?
  • Looks like you are into screwing.
  • Carpet, drapes, etc.
hereidreamt:

synecdoche:

nickmcglynn:


“You stuck my flash drive in your vagina - m4w - 25 (philadelphia)
 Craigslist “Missed Connections” section is awesome!



 In awe, picking my jaw up off the floor.

hereidreamt:

synecdoche:

nickmcglynn:

“You stuck my flash drive in your vagina - m4w - 25 (philadelphia)

 Craigslist “Missed Connections” section is awesome!

 In awe, picking my jaw up off the floor.

dealbreaker:

Your  Missed Connections
Okay, let me get this straight: you’re telling me that you felt an intense connection/attraction to me when you saw me  from across the supermarket as I was “reaching gracefully for a head of  lettuce?” Maybe I’m being naive here, but couldn’t you have  told me that in person? If I recall correctly, that particular shopping  trip took me 45 minutes (I guess that old saying is right, don’t go to a  grocery store hungry), meaning you had the better part of an hour to  approach me face to face, or as you’d say, “IRL”? Maybe that would have  been a little awkward, but probably not as weird as expecting to make a romantic  connection with someone you were too scared to approach in the physical world.  What did you think would happen: I would somehow read this (because you  think I’m as crazy as you and I peruse Missed Connections looking to see  if someone’s watching me touch lettuce) and decide that it’s time to  fall in love with a Craigslist Troll? You don’t need to Ask Jeeves, I’ll  tell you right now: ain’t gonna happen.

dealbreaker:

Your Missed Connections

Okay, let me get this straight: you’re telling me that you felt an intense connection/attraction to me when you saw me from across the supermarket as I was “reaching gracefully for a head of lettuce?” Maybe I’m being naive here, but couldn’t you have told me that in person? If I recall correctly, that particular shopping trip took me 45 minutes (I guess that old saying is right, don’t go to a grocery store hungry), meaning you had the better part of an hour to approach me face to face, or as you’d say, “IRL”? Maybe that would have been a little awkward, but probably not as weird as expecting to make a romantic connection with someone you were too scared to approach in the physical world. What did you think would happen: I would somehow read this (because you think I’m as crazy as you and I peruse Missed Connections looking to see if someone’s watching me touch lettuce) and decide that it’s time to fall in love with a Craigslist Troll? You don’t need to Ask Jeeves, I’ll tell you right now: ain’t gonna happen.

Note: this is not the way to pick up your mailwoman.

Note: this is not the way to pick up your mailwoman.

**SPOILER ALERT** He’s a cannibal
Submit your own funny missed connection

**SPOILER ALERT** He’s a cannibal

Submit your own funny missed connection

The thought of Snuffy masturbating just ruined a large portion of my childhood.

The thought of Snuffy masturbating just ruined a large portion of my childhood.

More like “rear wolf.” Amirite?

More like “rear wolf.” Amirite?

ilovecharts:

infographic of the most frequent occurrence of words in the missed connections section of Craigslist.

Really, Nebraska? Romantix?!

ilovecharts:

infographic of the most frequent occurrence of words in the missed connections section of Craigslist.

Really, Nebraska? Romantix?!